Happy New Year–Randomly Flowing Thoughts from Me to You

I think this may be the first time I have EVER actually written a blog post on New Year’s Day and I’m not about to make a resolution that I will write a post every day, but I am making one to just be me. I made a resolution last year and I tried very hard to keep it all year. My resolution was to love radically. It’s not easy to love radically and some days I fell short of the goal, still each day, I’d start all over again and I am still doing that. I don’t plan to stop. I do plan to love those who persecute me and speak harshly about me. I plan to love them by just accepting that they are the way they are and it’s not my job to fix them or even change their minds about anything, especially me.

I’m not sure what loving radically involves but I have learned that only when I am in tune with my truest self, and accepting of that self, can I look at others and just accept them for who they are and not feel the need to change them. It has been a hard lesson for me over the years but I’ve come to understand that there will always be someone who misreads my motives, misunderstands my motifs and misinterprets my meanings. I understand that there will always be those who mistrust me without a true cause, who villanize me to validate their own actions and warn their kids about the “wicked witch up the road.” Bottom line, as a dear friend tells me, “Everybody has enemies.”

There is no way on earth to make everybody happy because we live in a world of fearful people who are always afraid of losing something. We live in a world where no matter how hard you try or how good you treat others, someone is going to be offended, someone is going to accuse you of ulterior motives, of arrogance, of….just fill in the blank.

So, how do we love radically in a world where being rude and selfish is the norm?  I think loving radically doesn’t always involve an onslaught of mushiness or warm-fuzzies but a simple acceptance without judgment. We may not ever be a person that the offended will want to speak to kindly or for that matter, at all, or even smile at, but we don’t have to hold bitterness in our hearts against them and we have to realize that there comes a time when it really isn’t about us. Everybody has their own battles to fight and their own roads to walk. So, I am going to walk mine with a thankful heart and let my light shine the best I can. Some may see me as a beacon of light, love and kindness, and others may not. It’s okay. I accept that. I think that’s what love and forgiveness are all about, letting go. I love me and I am thankful for my life on earth. If others have issues with me, I’ll try to avoid getting in their field of vision as much as possible, but I won’t stop being the person I’m meant to be. I’m wonderfully weird and creatively created and this year, in addition to loving radically, I’m going to be the most ME I can possibly be.

 

The “Divinity” of Writing Fiction

Found this little entry in my journal from 2011. Just thought I’d share it.

April 8, 2011

As an author, I am the divine entity to the characters in my story. I exist outside of “time” as they know it because I exist outside the pages of the manuscript that I have written. The characters in my novels are bound to the “timeline” as it is contained between the covers of the book, the beginning and the end. To them all the events they experience are past, present, or future but to me, the creator, they happen simultaneously. I am present, all at once, in every event I’ve created in the story, regardless of where it happens on the timeline as my characters know it in the universe that I created. I don’t have to jump backward or forward in the story, because I’m already there. My characters exist in the story I have written, but they also continue existing in me even when they leave the pages of the novel (get killed off, move away, etc.) All characters that I create remain alive in me, the author. As the author, I have no random events in my story. Everything that happens has a purpose. Sometimes my purpose is to cause growth in a character or characters. Sometimes it is to help open one character’s eyes to the nature or doings of another character. Sometimes it is to propel the plot.

Know Me

 

14390860_10208194658723180_2202102595313510686_n(painting is a watercolor I did long ago)

 

When you understand wind

where she blows

why she blows

how she blows

 

when you understand flowers

their need for light

why they stretch

 

when you understand earth

when she moves

why she moves

how she moves

 

when you understand

the ways of bats

why they must hang

 

when you understand water

where she flows

why she flows

how she flows

 

the methods of spiders

what makes them spin

their appetite for flies

 

when you understand colors

where they are

what they are

why they are

 

the flight

of hummingbirds

how they alone fly backwards

 

when you understand fire

how it is

what it is

why it is

 

the feel of cool grass

on bare feet

 

when you understand spirit songs

of the ancestors

how they call

raise me

from simplicity

to simplicity

to oneness

 

then

you begin

to know me.

Inside Out

KODAK Digital Still Camera

 

My energy is not

from others

not from things I do

 

it is

a fueling light

emanating from

 

moments spent

walking barefoot

in fields

 

watching

orange fish

dart under cattails

 

from flint

unearthed

in soybean patches

 

it is

from late night hours

spent crying

 

“Creator

Here I am

Make me.”

The Master’s Secret

I am more than fog

melted by

mid-morning sun–

more than smoke

scattered by wind

dwindled by time–

more than a footprint

left on a beach

washed away by tides–

I am a song played

on eternal strings,

sounding endlessly

through halls

of forever.

 

Note: “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” Obi Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

“The secrets of the master are not found in his ashes, but rather in the flame he ignites in others.” Master Rick Pickens (He may have gotten it from somewhere else but I heard it from him.)

 

Country Bumpkin

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A friend calls me Country Bumpkin. I don’t mind. I find the most simple things in this world are also the most complex and far-reaching. I have a need to be surrounded by those complex simplicities. I do my best thinking when I’m alone, surrounded by nature. That’s when I have my epiphanies, my eureka-sparks, my moments of brilliance (okay, well, they’re brilliant to me.)

I need to touch the earth, to feel the sun on my face and the wind on my lips. I need the smell of soil and the sounds of birds. I need dragonflies and butterflies and tiny garden snakes. I need crickets and snails and random centipedes. I need to see the stars at night and wonder at the moon. I need the magic of trees. I need the sound of rain falling on the leaves and scent of a wet woodland floor, spring peepers and fire-flies.

When I am surrounded by the natural world, it doesn’t matter what I look like or sound like. It doesn’t matter what accomplishments I’ve made or failures I’ve experienced. All that matters is that I make like a flower, grow, bloom and produce some sort of seed for future flowers to grow, so that there will always be flowers on the earth. A seed can be an idea, an invention, an investment into the lives of others. A seed can be a song, a poem, a book. A seed can be a simple act of kindness. Flowers don’t compare themselves to other flowers. They just grow and bloom, according to whatever kind of plants they are.

 

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